Family Matters

by Sean Hammond {parts of the sermon}

Introduction

You know, here at Everyday Church, we are generally not in the habit of violating the Ten Commandments. Hopefully, you’ll be encouraged by that!
But I was thinking recently that as a church, it has been a little while since we violated a Commandment. So I thought, seeing as we haven’t done it for a while, why don’t we violate the 5th commandment together today! I mean, it's good enough for Jesus, so why not us as well, right?

Verses

While you’re getting your head around that, let’s read today’s verses together:
Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”
And the teachers of the Law who came down from Jerusalem said, “He is possessed by Beelzebul! By the prince of demons he is driving out demons.”
So Jesus called them over to him and began to speak to them in parables: “How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house. Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin.”
He said this because they were saying, “He has an impure spirit.”
Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.”
“Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked.
Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”
Mark 3:20-35
We’re going to talk about family matters today.... as we get to the end of chapter 3..., we finish on a concept which to me is really important in a church context, family. Hopefully, you realise that I joked about violating the 5th commandment earlier. You can read that in Exodus 20:12 (& Deuteronomy 5:16):
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 
And just to be clear, Jesus is not saying in these verses from Mark that it’s OK to dishonour your mother and father. But there are some really interesting things He is saying. So let’s unpack those a little now.

Background

The thing you have to understand is that the way Mark tells stories in his gospel often uses a particular literary device. He does it so often that the literary device is named after him, called a Markan intercalation. Another way of putting that is a Mark sandwich. Now I quite like sandwiches, so let’s stick with that.
Basically, a Mark sandwich is when he starts a narrative, then another story comes along and interrupts the first story, before eventually he comes back to resolve or complete the first story.
So what you need to understand is that the bit in the middle is the most important part, that’s like the filling of the sandwich. And the bits on either side of the middle are like the bread of the sandwich, holding the main story together, and sometimes even echoing the main story in themselves.
So, in the verses we’re looking at today, verses 20-21 are the top part of bread, that’s where Jesus’ family want to come and visit Him because they think He’s lost His mind.
Verses 22-30 are like the filling, this is the important bit of the story. Here we see the teachers of the Law accusing Jesus of being possessed, and Jesus responding by telling 3 parables, we’ll go through them in a moment.
And then finally the bottom slice of bread is verses 31-35, when Jesus’ family do arrive, and the story concludes.

The filling? Three parables

Let’s talk about the meat in this sandwich first, the important part. Because essentially, what we see is Jesus being accused of being in partnership with the devil, or Satan. “He is possessed!”, they say. “He’s using demons to drive out demons!”, they hurl at him.
Mark’s gospel is dramatic, full of action, and typically, people in Mark’s stories react to Jesus in one of two ways, either with fear or with faith. The teachers of the law were acting out of fear. Their lives were marked by order, discipline, and control. And they had to face the reality that things were happening around this Jesus, which was upsetting what they saw as the natural order of things. People were choosing to follow Jesus everywhere He went, which threatened their control. Which is why their reactions demonstrated fear.

Parable 1 and 2 - what Jesus is doing

And in response, Jesus tells some parables to illustrate both the absurdity of their accusations, while at the same time acknowledging the true revelation of what He is doing. And the first two parables are very similar. He says in v24-25, “If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”
Essentially, Jesus says, “You saw me casting out demons. If I was using demons to cast out demons, then I would be destroying my own kingdom. It would be like starting a civil war with myself.” Which clearly makes no sense. Jesus' point with these first two parables was to say that yes, Satan’s dominion is starting to collapse, but it’s not because of internal division. There was no civil war in Satan's ranks, because that would be pointless.

Third parable - A stronger man has come!

And so, we get our true explanation from Jesus’ third parable, where He uses the analogy of a strong man. In v27, He says “no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house.” Since we started looking at Mark’s gospel..., we’ve seen evidence that God is on the move. We’ve seen physical healings, spiritual warfare, people being set free from demonic oppression, and new and better teachings on prayer, fasting, and sabbath. We can see clearly what the Jews were just starting to realise, that the Kingdom of God is at hand. And at the centre of it all is a stronger man.
John the Baptist called it right at the beginning in Mark 1:7 “After me comes the one more powerful than I.” bJesus proclaims Himself here as the only one capable of freeing people from Satan’s clutches, because He is the Son of God. The strong man’s house has been plundered, we, the treasure Jesus thought worthwhile to ransack for, are being liberated, and the work which has begun will be completed on the other side of the cross, through the road of death and resurrection. Isn’t God amazing?
...
The Hebrew word Satan means “accuser”, and the teachers of the law here are doing just that, accusing Jesus of being in league with the devil. In doing so, they are falling into the sin that Jesus warns is “unforgivable”, which is seeing the works of God and labelling it as something else.
I like how theologian Tom Wright puts it:
‘Once you label what is in fact the work of the Holy Spirit as the work of the devil, there's no way back...You will be blind to the truth... If you decide firmly that the Doctor who is offering to perform a lifesaving operation on you is in fact a sadistic murderer, you will never give your consent to the operation.’
The stronger man is waiting to liberate you, will you let Him?

Family can be idolatry

OK, so that’s the filling of our sandwich, and it is glorious. Now let’s have a look at the "interrupted bread" of our story and see what we can learn. And what I see here is that the bread of our story, with Jesus’ own family, echoes the main point. Because what I see in miniature in Jesus’ family is a house divided. Of accusations being bandied about. And I see that, if we’re not careful, even good, well-meaning family can become a stumbling block to us, getting in the way of God’s work in our lives. As a friend put it to me, biology can be idolatry. But what I do mean by that?
Well, simply put, idolatry is taking something good and worshiping it instead of God. In other words, putting something else in the place of God. When we worship something other than God, or allow something to take our focus off God, it becomes an idol to us. Now I want you to hear me here, because I am not saying family is bad! So how can family be an idol to us?
Well, we’re in danger if our identity as being part of an earthly family comes ahead of being a child of God. Your family can’t save you, you don’t become a Christian because you grew up in a Christian household, or you live in a Christian country. We all have to make our own response to Jesus’ claims. And even today, you too can make a response to follow Jesus for yourself, and become part of His family.
What would have been incredibly incendiary to the Jews was the idea that it doesn't really matter about your family heritage, background, or their beliefs. Each person must make their own personal response to a loving God for themselves. For a race of people who were told for generations that they were God’s chosen ones, this would have been more than controversial. This would have been considered blasphemy.
I grew up in a household that called themselves Christian and nominally went to church, but to be honest, it was only when I travelled to the other side of the world that God found me and revealed Himself to me. I had left the country of my birth for personal opportunities (travel, career), but God had bigger ideas for my life, and I am so glad He gave me an opportunity to respond to Him.

Family can lead you further away from God

We can also idolise family when we let family life get in the way of the things of God. And again, I want to really be gracious here, because I know family life can be busy. I have a wife and two children of varying ages, and we’ve been through the sleepless nights, the early risings, the sicknesses, the school trips, you name it. I know that, particularly if you have a partner and/or children, family life can be hard at times. But I also know that our families are our first mission fields, not opportunities to withdraw for a season. And so the Kingdom of God doesn’t take a backseat because of our family, it just changes location. Within every family unit, there are opportunities to glorify God, make disciples, and be Kingdom-bringers every day.
Because if we’re not careful, family can lead us further away from God. In Mark 3:21, Jesus’ own family, somewhat echoing the accusations of the teachers of the Law, thought he had lost His mind! He was always so busy, He had crowds around Him everywhere He went, He wasn’t eating well we read, He was in constant danger! Have any of you ever heard this from your parents? And I know they meant well, and they were acting out of love and concern, but imagine if they had convinced Jesus to stop? “Just come home for a while and rest, and let me make you your favourite meal.” How different might human history have worked out?
A few years ago, I quit my secular job and came to work for Everyday Church for a season. And at the time, my parents really were not happy. They thought I was throwing my career away. They thought I was taking this God thing a little too seriously. And they were genuinely concerned for my welfare, and I love that they cared enough about me to show that concern. But I knew God had called me to this, and I didn’t want to ignore that call. And even though it only lasted a few years before I went back into the secular workplace again, I know it was right, and I am glad I was obedient to God’s call and not my family’s wisdom, however well-meaning.
... we can... fall into a trap as churches of idolatry of the family unit. We can unintentionally do it by gearing our gatherings primarily towards families with children. We can do it when we exclude extended family members, or childless people, or single people, from our language and culture as a church. We can do it when we have expectations that people without children will somehow have more capacity to serve and get involved than those with children. Now again, don’t mishear me. I want Everyday Church to be a church that is looking towards the next generation. I love that we have so many people here who have such a heart for young people. I want to play my part in building a church that a new generation will come after me and take it further than we were able to. But I also don’t want to ignore the rich tapestry of the Christian life, and I want everyone, regardless of the biological family circumstances, to feel like they have a place here for them.

God loves families

Because the truth is, God loves families. God is family in and of Himself, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, distinct but together. Even an omnipotent, all-powerful, creator God thought it was good to be in community with others.
And we see this throughout scripture.
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
Psalms 68:5-6
He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. There is a place for everyone in the family of God.
Psalms 113:9

God’s definition of family is much broader than you think

And the truth is, God’s definition of family is much broader than you think! Through Jesus, something better has come – a bigger and more complete definition of family than was previously known. And one of the ways we put our faith in Jesus and seek to glorify Him, is by embracing this new understanding of what family means.

The last part of the passage

In the last part of our passage, the bottom half of the bread, we see Jesus looking at His followers and disciples, and declaring them family. The people you know in your life who follow Jesus faithfully and seek to honour Him with their lives – they are your spiritual family. You are related to them with a bond that is thicker than blood, because you are united to them by the same Holy Spirit that unites you to your Father God. Not to diminish biological relationships in any way, but Jesus is telling us here that Spiritual family is stronger, and more everlasting, than any temporal biological ties.
Some of you may know some of my story. For over 20 years I have been living in a country I was not born in...
...
I find it hard sometimes to be so far away from my earthly family. It sucks that we have to plan visits to see our parents and relatives long in advance and at great cost, because flights are expensive!
Much later in Mark’s gospel, Simon Peter expresses a similar sentiment to Jesus. He says “we have given everything to follow you!” And in Mark 10 Jesus responds:
“Truly I tell you, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.”
Mark 10-29-30
You know I have heard it said that one of the challenges of being an immigrant, which I am, is that you’re forever feeling “displaced”. You’re never fully at home in the place you find yourself, and your home country feels familiar but different every time you go back there. Because of course nothing stands still, and nothing is the same as when you left it.
But I am comforted by Paul’s words in Philippians 3:20 “But our citizenship is in heaven.” And so whatever mild discomfort I feel now is a faint shadow of the bigger story of my life. Jesus set me free, redeemed me, and put me in this place to glorify and serve Him with my life, but this place is not my home.
Today there are elements of family relationships that I do not have in my biological family now...
But I promise you I am not shortchanged. I have probably stronger and deeper relationships 100 times over in my church family, with people from different backgrounds, cultures, stages of life, perspectives and attitudes to mine. Every week I have the nations gathered in my house to pursue Jesus together...
My family unit and I are not just blessed in the eternal life to come – we enjoy the full benefits of spiritual family now. And every time I have an opportunity to serve someone in my church family, whether it’s giving a friend a lift home, taking a meal to someone who is unwell, doing some little chore for someone who might not be able to do it otherwise, I like to try and think to myself, well its family isn’t it? We’d do anything we could for our family wouldn’t we? And I know many of you do too. Because Jesus, our saviour, has done everything for us and brought us into the family of God, how could we not pour out our lives for the family we find ourselves with now?

Response

These verses are basically the big story of the gospel, in miniature. At the centre of it is the cross, Jesus, the stronger man, defeating the strong man who had kept the people hostage for far too long.
And around that core story, there is a fundamental redefining of the world as we once knew it, in this case, told through the context of the complete radicalisation of what it means to be family.
We, who were once outsiders, with no birthright or claim to anything, were separated from God. But now we have been brought into the family because of what Jesus has done. We are now brothers, and sisters, and mothers together, co-heirs to the full inheritance that Jesus won for us.
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